When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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