i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
