Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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