Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
