Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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