highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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