Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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