who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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