Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
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