Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
