Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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