when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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