My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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