I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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