cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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