Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
my mouth tastes like poor choices
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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