After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
