if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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