So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
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