Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
