ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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