i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
either way he was missing a nipple.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize
