So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
