I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
