Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I wish i was in the wii world.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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