I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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