...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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