so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
