I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
