he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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