Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize