i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
