I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I looked at my own cervix.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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