i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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