A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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