I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
