went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
