don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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