The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
