just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
