Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
