It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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