One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Randomize
