yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
