Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
