there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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