he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
