Plan B is the new Plan A
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
