Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Randomize
