so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Randomize
