I must be too annoying 4 u.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
