I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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