In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
