just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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