Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
