I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
