If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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