i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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