just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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