She's JV to your varsity
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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