Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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