im drinking this country out of the recession.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
