Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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