she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
