found the other keg... it's in the tree
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
