Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize