I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
